








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1780 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1119 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1351 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1393 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $750,900 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 413 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | HoodiSac | 50% | 32 |
| #6 | Im The One Who Knocks | 46% | 13 |
| #7 | ValJul456 | 38% | 32 |
| #8 | Jupi' | 37% | 19 |
| #9 | Glörp | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valdesen | 9 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | HoodiSac | 5 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Jupi' | 4 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | SneakyBeaky | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | ValJul456 | 2 | 0.0033 |





