








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 380 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




86 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,403 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3604 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3354 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1567 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2878 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $440,471 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 618 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | リーヴァイʕ•ᴥ•ʔLevi | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | glugg | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | Sizzlez | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Negev Lord | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | 猫パンチ | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | リーヴァイʕ•ᴥ•ʔLevi | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | glugg | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | Sizzlez | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Negev Lord | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | 猫パンチ | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sizzlez | 12 | 0.0385 |
| #2 | 猫パンチ | 7 | 0.0174 |
| #3 | glugg | 6 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | リーヴァイʕ•ᴥ•ʔLevi | 5 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glugg | 115 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Sizzlez | 71 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | リーヴァイʕ•ᴥ•ʔLevi | 21 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | 猫パンチ | 20 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Negev Lord | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Negev Lord | +6.60 | 44 | 21 |
| #2 | Sizzlez | +4.38 | 72 | 62 |
| #3 | 猫パンチ | +1.95 | 82 | 40 |
| #4 | リーヴァイʕ•ᴥ•ʔLevi | +1.87 | 68 | 44 |
| #5 | glugg | +0.57 | 52 | 40 |





