










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
541 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1008 | 39% |
| Smokes | 518 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 700 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 356 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $751,636 of utility $287 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | 𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔠𝔞 | 25% | 8 |
| #11 | Leopard699 | 25% | 8 |
| #12 | Tuxedman | 21% | 19 |
| #13 | Eugen the shark | 19% | 21 |
| #14 | Raakku | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jojual | 22 | 0.0183 |
| #2 | Eugen the shark | 11 | 0.0278 |
| #3 | joe moe lester | 10 | 0.0131 |
| #4 | Jonatzuu | 8 | 0.0193 |
| #5 | Tuxedman | 7 | 0.0185 |





