








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1108 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1214 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 307 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 1030 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $526,076 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ひwひ | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | MIKE MIKE MIKE MIKE | 43% | 60 |
| #3 | Ethan | 43% | 49 |
| #4 | Ramadeez | 29% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ひwひ | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | MIKE MIKE MIKE MIKE | 43% | 60 |
| #3 | Ethan | 43% | 49 |
| #4 | Ramadeez | 29% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ethan | 17 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | MIKE MIKE MIKE MIKE | 10 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Ramadeez | 10 | 0.0162 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MIKE MIKE MIKE MIKE | 169 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ethan | 153 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ramadeez | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | ひwひ | 18 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MIKE MIKE MIKE MIKE | +3.00 | 84 | 51 |
| #2 | Ethan | +2.59 | 77 | 57 |
| #3 | Ramadeez | +1.43 | 58 | 29 |
| #4 | ひwひ | -0.13 | 67 | 63 |
| #5 | Dylan | -3.70 | 44 | 41 |





