








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
542 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 385 | 22% |
| Smokes | 458 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 465 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 442 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $182,139 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | sarim | 50% | 20 |
| #15 | fett1s | 43% | 14 |
| #16 | crit | 40% | 5 |
| #17 | ExampL | 39% | 18 |
| #18 | Elarose | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fett1s | 5 | 0.0174 |
| #2 | sarim | 4 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | ^0^ | 3 | 0.0405 |
| #4 | ExampL | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | mV | 2 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fett1s | 69 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #2 | sarim | 59 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Xarco | 32 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Val | 30 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | ExampL | 29 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harper | +5.80 | 57 | 50 |
| #2 | ^0^ | +4.14 | 48 | 43 |
| #3 | crit | +3.10 | 81 | 56 |
| #4 | Xarco | +1.79 | 81 | 63 |
| #5 | Mad | +1.78 | 90 | 82 |





