








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2733 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,548 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1444 | 32% |
| Smokes | 825 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 966 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1313 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $947,766 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ferraripeekツ Pxel420 | 26 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Faze Goku | 16 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | giga pleb | 15 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | ThePotatoFarmer | 13 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | xXStepsisterXx | 8 | 0.0055 |





