








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1807 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,827 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1469 | 38% |
| Smokes | 726 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 886 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 746 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $220,690 of utility $31 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ferraripeekツ Pxel420 | 35 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Faze Goku | 19 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | ferraripeekツ Torge | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | giga pleb | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | ThePotatoFarmer | 5 | 0.0055 |





