








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 616 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Wingman | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,861 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1854 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1704 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2416 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1887 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $733,943 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Trumpo | 49% | 429 |
| #2 | Bober | 47% | 59 |
| #3 | Saxy Salad | 45% | 29 |
| #4 | META | 43% | 37 |
| #5 | The GUY | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Trumpo | 647 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #2 | Saxy Salad | 63 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Bober | 43 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | The GUY | 31 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Patrukio | 31 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Trumpo | +2.25 | 74 | 51 |
| #2 | Saxy Salad | +2.16 | 76 | 36 |
| #3 | The GUY | +1.07 | 81 | 31 |
| #4 | Brundy | +0.06 | 68 | 40 |
| #5 | Patrukio | -1.56 | 52 | 42 |





