










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 222 | 8% |
| Smokes | 456 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1105 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1000 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $839,297 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BaDaBu | 58% | 52 |
| #2 | Kairos | 55% | 53 |
| #3 | Scruffy | 54% | 63 |
| #4 | Saxy Salad | 50% | 143 |
| #5 | MAPLE SYRUP GUZZLER | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Saxy Salad | 50% | 143 |
| #5 | MAPLE SYRUP GUZZLER | 50% | 30 |
| #6 | Patrukio | 47% | 100 |
| #7 | Brundy | 43% | 37 |
| #8 | Señor Trumpo | 43% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saxy Salad | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Patrukio | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Kairos | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | BaDaBu | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | MAPLE SYRUP GUZZLER | 3 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saxy Salad | 216 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | Señor Trumpo | 197 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Scruffy | 180 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | BaDaBu | 173 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Patrukio | 88 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saxy Salad | +3.41 | 76 | 50 |
| #2 | Señor Trumpo | +1.99 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | BaDaBu | +1.12 | 50 | 60 |
| #4 | Scruffy | +0.20 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | Kairos | -1.22 | 56 | 51 |





