








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3814 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,932 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4150 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3472 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5965 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3345 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,167,130 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KAISER | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | Ponglenis | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | MayNotSkill | 59% | 135 |
| #4 | Timbo | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | Dave | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KAISER | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | Ponglenis | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | MayNotSkill | 59% | 135 |
| #4 | Timbo | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | Dave | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MayNotSkill | 20 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | KAISER | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Dave | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Timbo | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MayNotSkill | 421 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | Timbo | 113 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ponglenis | 67 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | KAISER | 49 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dave | 19 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MayNotSkill | +2.76 | 56 | 64 |
| #2 | Ponglenis | +1.09 | 69 | 63 |
| #3 | Timbo | +1.04 | 75 | 57 |
| #4 | KAISER | +0.03 | 73 | 52 |
| #5 | Dave | -0.50 | 43 | 41 |





