








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,983 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 964 | 32% |
| Smokes | 485 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 930 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 604 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $503,016 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊 | 49% | 80 |
| #4 | ✪ beabadoobeedoo⚡ | 48% | 113 |
| #5 | Dez | 42% | 45 |
| #6 | Microsoft Excel | 41% | 17 |
| #7 | Osama Bean Laden | 35% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ beabadoobeedoo⚡ | 20 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | 啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊 | 8 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Osama Bean Laden | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Oof... | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Dez | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ beabadoobeedoo⚡ | +3.14 | 59 | 73 |
| #2 | ヨシ?? | +2.64 | 62 | 54 |
| #3 | 啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊 | +1.20 | 88 | 70 |
| #4 | Oof... | +0.96 | 47 | 47 |
| #5 | Microsoft Excel | -2.07 | 50 | 49 |





