








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 700 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 470 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,183 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8497 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7715 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6929 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7042 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,412,402 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 445 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Isopahatummamies | 53% | 275 |
| #2 | take | 52% | 130 |
| #3 | Papviz | 52% | 124 |
| #4 | joחɛs | 48% | 56 |
| #5 | Reijo | 47% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Isopahatummamies | +1.82 | 52 | 68 |
| #2 | joחɛs | +1.77 | 53 | 73 |
| #3 | repa | +1.04 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | RasvaMauri | +0.73 | 60 | 71 |
| #5 | Mustaukko | +0.47 | 51 | 76 |





