








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




94 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,169 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4275 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3259 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1191 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 3444 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $976,421 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turelito | 65% | 72 |
| #2 | Uruk Macdå | 59% | 78 |
| #3 | Bashem | 58% | 97 |
| #4 | alexrusty | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | :.:.: | 46% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bonk | +4.41 | 93 | 55 |
| #2 | Turelito | +2.60 | 94 | 64 |
| #3 | Bashem | +2.13 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | :.:.: | +1.39 | 88 | 61 |
| #5 | Uruk Macdå | +0.07 | 88 | 53 |





