








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1329 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,862 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1612 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1573 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1263 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1414 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $221,862 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rikuq | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | ﷻMetu | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | Jara | 80% | 10 |
| #4 | LoneX | 73% | 11 |
| #5 | Tanttis | 67% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | 何かたわごと | 52% | 23 |
| #7 | Wilsumeister | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | J 0 P 3 | 43% | 42 |
| #9 | b0b0 | 36% | 14 |
| #10 | Prophet | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoneX | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | rikuq | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J 0 P 3 | 110 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | 何かたわごと | 87 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Tanttis | 66 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | b0b0 | 50 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jara | 46 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jara | +5.78 | 89 | 80 |
| #2 | rikuq | +3.23 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | ﷻMetu | +2.82 | 60 | 69 |
| #4 | LoneX | +2.18 | 92 | 69 |
| #5 | lepu | +0.84 | 67 | 63 |





