








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,824 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1229 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1176 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 530 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 889 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $175,084 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peppadrinka5 | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Enzo | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Revampzz | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | tripp | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Not Pol0 | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Enzo | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Revampzz | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | tripp | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Not Pol0 | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | milesd | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tripp | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enzo | 88 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #2 | Not Pol0 | 49 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #3 | Revampzz | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | tripp | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | milesd | 25 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Pol0 | +4.59 | 90 | 79 |
| #2 | drew | +3.25 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | tripp | +0.33 | 84 | 62 |
| #4 | milesd | +0.14 | 74 | 47 |
| #5 | peppadrinka5 | -0.39 | 73 | 51 |





