








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 168 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2590 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,715 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 970 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2756 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2552 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2437 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $673,123 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ARMAEZZZ | 62% | 52 |
| #2 | OskuZ | 61% | 71 |
| #3 | Saab 9-3 Viggen 2.3t | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | JaM | 50% | 185 |
| #5 | 𝒱𝑒𝑒𝓉𝒾 <𝟥 | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ARMAEZZZ | 62% | 52 |
| #2 | OskuZ | 61% | 71 |
| #3 | Saab 9-3 Viggen 2.3t | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | JaM | 50% | 185 |
| #5 | 𝒱𝑒𝑒𝓉𝒾 <𝟥 | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaM | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | OskuZ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | ARMAEZZZ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaM | 443 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | OskuZ | 119 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Saab 9-3 Viggen 2.3t | 93 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | ARMAEZZZ | 81 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | 𝒱𝑒𝑒𝓉𝒾 <𝟥 | 46 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JSPx | +1.31 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | 𝒱𝑒𝑒𝓉𝒾 <𝟥 | +0.02 | 83 | 47 |
| #3 | OskuZ | -0.17 | 63 | 70 |
| #4 | Saab 9-3 Viggen 2.3t | -0.39 | 48 | 47 |
| #5 | JaM | -0.67 | 71 | 71 |





