








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 571 matches | ||
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9591 | 33% |
| Smokes | 7187 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6510 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6140 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,916,858 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anarki | 59% | 86 |
| #2 | juodokas | 53% | 276 |
| #3 | cock'letas | 49% | 103 |
| #4 | FroyDo | 46% | 54 |
| #5 | lastick | 42% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anarki | 59% | 86 |
| #2 | juodokas | 53% | 276 |
| #3 | cock'letas | 49% | 103 |
| #4 | FroyDo | 46% | 54 |
| #5 | lastick | 42% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cock'letas | 21 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | juodokas | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | lastick | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | FroyDo | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juodokas | 830 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #2 | cock'letas | 148 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | anarki | 139 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | FroyDo | 133 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | lastick | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juodokas | +1.19 | 81 | 69 |
| #2 | dog | +0.75 | 85 | 69 |
| #3 | cock'letas | -0.63 | 69 | 45 |
| #4 | FroyDo | -0.74 | 64 | 51 |
| #5 | anarki | -1.40 | 68 | 50 |





