








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
79 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 46 | 23% |
| Smokes | 35 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 37 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 81 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $9,300 of utility $27 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CAP | 38% | 13 |
| #2 | Hollis | 36% | 14 |
| #3 | CosmoMan | 33% | 15 |
| #4 | BigJuicySteve | 28% | 18 |
| #5 | TRUE | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | CosmoMan | 33% | 15 |
| #4 | BigJuicySteve | 28% | 18 |
| #5 | TRUE | 0% | 2 |
| #6 | U PAY ME RENT!! | 0% | 2 |
| #7 | IAmBobert | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CosmoMan | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | CAP | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | IAmBobert | 1 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigJuicySteve | 41 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #2 | CAP | 20 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | CosmoMan | 13 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hollis | 4 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | TRUE | 2 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CAP | +3.71 | 66 | 65 |
| #2 | BigJuicySteve | +0.62 | 55 | 52 |
| #3 | Hollis | -0.36 | 38 | 13 |
| #4 | CosmoMan | -2.99 | 27 | 27 |
| #5 | sophomore in hs | -3.74 | 54 | 30 |





