








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Faceit | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4595 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4654 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3800 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3955 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $364,985 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 537 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevin | 60% | 96 |
| #2 | b | 60% | 102 |
| #3 | G* | 57% | 212 |
| #4 | Ekul | 54% | 186 |
| #5 | Nuxie | 54% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | G* | 57% | 212 |
| #4 | Ekul | 54% | 186 |
| #5 | Nuxie | 54% | 54 |
| #6 | BRB | 52% | 25 |
| #7 | BIGTOE | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Nuxie | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Kevin | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Ekul | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | G* | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ekul | 799 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #2 | G* | 404 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | b | 375 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | Kevin | 358 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | Nuxie | 186 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zmachine | +2.54 | 59 | 59 |
| #2 | b | +0.35 | 71 | 69 |
| #3 | Ekul | +0.22 | 50 | 61 |
| #4 | Nuxie | -0.73 | 61 | 65 |
| #5 | Kevin | -0.73 | 68 | 68 |





