








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 452 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4167 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,993 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4485 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4845 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4100 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3563 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,475,017 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuxie | 64% | 42 |
| #2 | Zmachine | 57% | 212 |
| #3 | b | 53% | 209 |
| #4 | Ekul | 52% | 342 |
| #5 | Kevin | 52% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Zmachine | 57% | 212 |
| #3 | b | 53% | 209 |
| #4 | Ekul | 52% | 342 |
| #5 | Kevin | 52% | 195 |
| #6 | Mikeh` | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zmachine | 18 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Kevin | 15 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | b | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Ekul | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Nuxie | 5 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ekul | 1291 | 0.18 | 30 min |
| #2 | Zmachine | 847 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #3 | b | 774 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #4 | Kevin | 632 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #5 | Nuxie | 136 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zmachine | +2.94 | 58 | 60 |
| #2 | b | +0.69 | 71 | 70 |
| #3 | Ekul | +0.58 | 55 | 61 |
| #4 | Kevin | -0.21 | 66 | 67 |
| #5 | Nuxie | -0.23 | 56 | 68 |





