








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,940 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1745 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1359 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1445 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1391 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $306,412 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Chopin | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | EzBorderHopz #8 cs.money | 54% | 41 |
| #6 | Eat Butt | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | JayJay^ | 46% | 13 |
| #8 | zero | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regent | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Chopin | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | EzBorderHopz #8 cs.money | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | JayJay^ | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regent | 95 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | Chopin | 73 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | EzBorderHopz #8 cs.money | 65 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | JayJay^ | 54 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | zero | 35 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regent | +3.14 | 67 | 82 |
| #2 | AMDrone | +0.83 | 69 | 70 |
| #3 | EzBorderHopz #8 cs.money | +0.60 | 67 | 55 |
| #4 | zero | +0.58 | 56 | 56 |
| #5 | 123dvl | -0.24 | 28 | 38 |





