








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,818 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 504 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1258 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 617 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 439 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $406,878 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cryotize | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | Jöfry | 47% | 49 |
| #3 | YNG \\ SNDWCH | 44% | 121 |
| #4 | TM26 | 40% | 109 |
| #5 | mechanicalmeatballs | 39% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cryotize | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | Jöfry | 47% | 49 |
| #3 | YNG \\ SNDWCH | 44% | 121 |
| #4 | TM26 | 40% | 109 |
| #5 | mechanicalmeatballs | 39% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YNG \\ SNDWCH | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | TM26 | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | mechanicalmeatballs | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Jöfry | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YNG \\ SNDWCH | 545 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | mechanicalmeatballs | 358 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | Jöfry | 221 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #4 | TM26 | 166 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Cryotize | 24 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YNG \\ SNDWCH | +1.80 | 71 | 64 |
| #2 | TM26 | +1.29 | 58 | 66 |
| #3 | Magnix | -1.03 | 37 | 41 |
| #4 | Cryotize | -1.18 | 41 | 55 |
| #5 | mechanicalmeatballs | -2.66 | 34 | 54 |





