








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 576 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,303 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1211 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1023 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 786 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 283 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $755,587 of utility $239 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marizard | 51% | 53 |
| #2 | butterslab | 50% | 42 |
| #3 | Quay | 47% | 36 |
| #4 | bhery | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | gug greego | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | butterslab | 50% | 42 |
| #3 | Quay | 47% | 36 |
| #4 | bhery | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | gug greego | 47% | 32 |
| #6 | Science team member | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gug greego | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | marizard | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Science team member | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Quay | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | bhery | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marizard | 62 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | Quay | 52 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | gug greego | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Science team member | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | bhery | 25 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quay | +2.61 | 57 | 53 |
| #2 | ThatWaddle | +2.47 | 67 | 48 |
| #3 | marizard | +0.08 | 63 | 35 |
| #4 | butterslab | -1.89 | 52 | 23 |
| #5 | gug greego | -2.81 | 23 | 43 |





