








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 454 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1970 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2457 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2135 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1275 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1790 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $464,407 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1207 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Squirrel | 50% | 10 |
| #17 | L3X * | 50% | 22 |
| #18 | J-Ang3L | 43% | 23 |
| #19 | HowlyShiet | 30% | 10 |
| #20 | 1fallsbimsl david.exe | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^hNe | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | J-Ang3L | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | NMVy | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | 1fallsbimsl david.exe | 2 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Lynx | 2 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^hNe | 101 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | NMVy | 77 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | ꧁♥ Sunny ♥꧂ | 72 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lynx | 69 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #5 | StR1k3r | 56 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynx | +6.01 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | 1fallsbimsl david.exe | +3.85 | 85 | 71 |
| #3 | LdW | +2.22 | 86 | 61 |
| #4 | Mr.Smith ツ | +2.00 | 88 | 73 |
| #5 | ^hNe | +1.99 | 85 | 60 |





