








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 420 matches | ||
| Faceit | 218 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8053 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,462 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9006 | 28% |
| Smokes | 8284 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8095 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7077 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $783,152 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 618 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F0rsll | 55% | 141 |
| #2 | f | 55% | 69 |
| #3 | Buggata | 54% | 286 |
| #4 | LaZey | 53% | 616 |
| #5 | Maztexx | 51% | 320 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | f | 55% | 69 |
| #3 | Buggata | 54% | 286 |
| #4 | LaZey | 53% | 616 |
| #5 | Maztexx | 51% | 320 |
| #6 | waldoh | 49% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaZey | 24 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Buggata | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | f | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Maztexx | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | waldoh | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaZey | 2350 | 0.18 | 61 min |
| #2 | Maztexx | 813 | 0.12 | 22 min |
| #3 | Buggata | 490 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #4 | F0rsll | 420 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | waldoh | 232 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F0rsll | +1.54 | 78 | 59 |
| #2 | LaZey | +1.16 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | Nipaldi | +0.89 | 79 | 72 |
| #4 | Maztexx | -0.16 | 72 | 65 |
| #5 | f | -0.53 | 85 | 61 |





