








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1641 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 352 matches | ||
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4276 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2701 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 5130 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5435 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,561,163 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 820 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Buggata | 58% | 465 |
| #9 | LaZey | 56% | 181 |
| #10 | Nipaldi | 55% | 141 |
| #11 | Lightning | 54% | 41 |
| #12 | Maztexx | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oliVertigo | 13 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Buggata | 9 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | M | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Lightning | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | MaTikka | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buggata | 764 | 0.08 | 25 min |
| #2 | LaZey | 733 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #3 | oliVertigo | 592 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #4 | Nipaldi | 563 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #5 | Rööbs | 338 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F0rsll | +3.28 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | MaTikka | +1.79 | 76 | 73 |
| #3 | M | +1.18 | 79 | 73 |
| #4 | LaZey | +0.87 | 71 | 68 |
| #5 | Nipaldi | +0.53 | 78 | 73 |





