








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2887 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,609 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1474 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1912 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1988 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1235 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,008,199 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ NOUR | 75% | 28 |
| #2 | Puma | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | Haze | 57% | 106 |
| #4 | Grinmore | 55% | 133 |
| #5 | Zera_Magee | 54% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haze | 12 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | ✪ NOUR | 5 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Methinane (BrokeSpaceBar) | 5 | 0.0178 |
| #4 | Grinmore | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Zera_Magee | 4 | 0.0022 |





