








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 164 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2338 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1614 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2295 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2131 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2212 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $642,593 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GLOBAK | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | MrD96 | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | xeNN | 49% | 51 |
| #4 | beepbeep. | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | -sTniii | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R1muru "Кевин" T3mpest | +3.13 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | GLOBAK | +1.33 | 90 | 72 |
| #3 | xeNN | +0.70 | 77 | 68 |
| #4 | beepbeep. | +0.47 | 72 | 67 |
| #5 | feNei | +0.06 | 69 | 74 |





