








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3523 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,509 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4379 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4278 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3056 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3796 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $705,175 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MajorFletch | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | Long_Rough_Dab_40cm | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | Komodo | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | Darkspark | 47% | 251 |
| #5 | 𝕹𝖊𝖗𝖔 | 45% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Darkspark | 47% | 251 |
| #5 | 𝕹𝖊𝖗𝖔 | 45% | 73 |
| #6 | raen | 45% | 119 |
| #7 | Le Fishe | 42% | 102 |
| #8 | 999 | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darkspark | 25 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | raen | 16 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | 𝕹𝖊𝖗𝖔 | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Long_Rough_Dab_40cm | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Komodo | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darkspark | 935 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #2 | Le Fishe | 445 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | raen | 323 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | 𝕹𝖊𝖗𝖔 | 217 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Long_Rough_Dab_40cm | 129 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Long_Rough_Dab_40cm | +2.07 | 88 | 48 |
| #2 | Darkspark | +1.06 | 65 | 52 |
| #3 | Le Fishe | +0.50 | 83 | 61 |
| #4 | nikmik | +0.46 | 86 | 63 |
| #5 | Komodo | -0.05 | 82 | 61 |





