










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1229 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,908 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 416 | 22% |
| Smokes | 408 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 468 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 616 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $170,174 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | CockJuicinCumDrizzler | 41% | 160 |
| #5 | steven | 39% | 61 |
| #6 | WittleChimken | 36% | 61 |
| #7 | TUTEL | 32% | 22 |
| #8 | Chris Hobbs | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SoTasty | 31 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | CockJuicinCumDrizzler | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | TUTEL | 7 | 0.0166 |
| #4 | WittleChimken | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Pickles | 4 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SoTasty | 166 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | steven | 114 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | TUTEL | 85 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Chris Hobbs | 28 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | CockJuicinCumDrizzler | 24 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pickles | +7.10 | 64 | 35 |
| #2 | SoTasty | +3.27 | 61 | 33 |
| #3 | steven | +2.24 | 37 | 52 |
| #4 | TUTEL | -0.05 | 32 | 58 |
| #5 | CockJuicinCumDrizzler | -0.28 | 23 | 13 |





