








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 735 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 358 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2834 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,912 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1259 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1257 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1259 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1137 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,373 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 453 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tordenbror | 22 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | 𝖕𝖊𝖙𝖔𝖜𝖘𝖐𝖎 | 9 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Tobroed | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | GrimReaper | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | traxonboio | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrimReaper | 406 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #2 | 𝖕𝖊𝖙𝖔𝖜𝖘𝖐𝖎 | 246 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Tobroed | 224 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | traxonboio | 220 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Tordenbror | 183 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobroed | +1.78 | 38 | 69 |
| #2 | traxonboio | +1.33 | 64 | 48 |
| #3 | 𝖕𝖊𝖙𝖔𝖜𝖘𝖐𝖎 | +1.01 | 74 | 57 |
| #4 | Tordenbror | +0.51 | 72 | 52 |
| #5 | GrimReaper | -0.23 | 35 | 60 |





