








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 983 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,130 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2428 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2292 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1939 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1471 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $968,447 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | overseas | 58% | 150 |
| #4 | jew jitsu | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | nv | 52% | 44 |
| #6 | Lukaszek | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | nick hurgh | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | overseas | 32 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | Lukaszek | 19 | 0.0597 |
| #3 | nv | 15 | 0.0166 |
| #4 | jew jitsu | 9 | 0.0153 |
| #5 | nick hurgh | 3 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jew jitsu | +3.21 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | MUSTAAAAAAAAAAAARD skins.army | +2.03 | 78 | 62 |
| #3 | overseas | +0.31 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | nv | +0.09 | 61 | 61 |
| #5 | nick hurgh | -0.21 | 45 | 60 |





