










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Jura | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1859 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,290 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2192 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1134 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1159 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1805 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $758,987 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1288 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dani | 59% | 210 |
| #2 | Coach | 58% | 131 |
| #3 | not a woman | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dani | 59% | 210 |
| #2 | Coach | 58% | 131 |
| #3 | not a woman | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coach | 58 | 0.0233 |
| #2 | Dani | 38 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dani | 1151 | 0.28 | 25 min |
| #2 | Coach | 446 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | not a woman | 22 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coach | +2.74 | 77 | 44 |
| #2 | Dani | +2.68 | 57 | 67 |
| #3 | skelly | +0.18 | 60 | 48 |
| #4 | not a woman | -2.23 | 17 | 42 |





