








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4200 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3284 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2939 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2370 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,977,956 of utility $236 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 565 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doc-Twitch.tv/DecklinBiceps107 | 57% | 232 |
| #2 | coots | 54% | 145 |
| #3 | lumpy space pickles [*DEAD*] | 54% | 196 |
| #4 | Lj | 53% | 346 |
| #5 | Sohavok | 49% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lj | 36 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | lumpy space pickles [*DEAD*] | 19 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Sylkarino | 19 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Doc-Twitch.tv/DecklinBiceps107 | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | coots | 7 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lj | 1195 | 0.17 | 34 min |
| #2 | Doc-Twitch.tv/DecklinBiceps107 | 1063 | 0.23 | 34 min |
| #3 | lumpy space pickles [*DEAD*] | 687 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #4 | Sylkarino | 473 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #5 | coots | 118 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doc-Twitch.tv/DecklinBiceps107 | +3.29 | 64 | 76 |
| #2 | //Astr⛧m | +2.42 | 81 | 53 |
| #3 | Lj | +2.36 | 73 | 73 |
| #4 | lumpy space pickles [*DEAD*] | -0.25 | 60 | 72 |
| #5 | DAZ1NG | -0.85 | 73 | 61 |





