








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1211 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2611 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1572 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1500 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,477,664 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | BOOZY | 57% | 46 |
| #6 | siberia | 55% | 31 |
| #7 | prodigy | 52% | 23 |
| #8 | hendrix | 47% | 108 |
| #9 | BuD-E | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hendrix | 13 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | ORCA PEEK | 7 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | siberia | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | John | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | BOOZY | 1 | 0.0012 |





