








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,075 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 595 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1231 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1056 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1193 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,027,936 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hasse | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Kikki-hiiri:3 | 53% | 192 |
| #3 | herbi | 47% | 238 |
| #4 | skibidi sammakko | 46% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hasse | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Kikki-hiiri:3 | 53% | 192 |
| #3 | herbi | 47% | 238 |
| #4 | skibidi sammakko | 46% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kikki-hiiri:3 | 25 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | herbi | 21 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | skibidi sammakko | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | hasse | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kikki-hiiri:3 | 551 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | herbi | 285 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | skibidi sammakko | 77 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | hasse | 41 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hasse | +2.70 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | Kikki-hiiri:3 | +2.62 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | herbi | -0.16 | 63 | 58 |
| #4 | KATUMIES | -0.32 | 84 | 40 |
| #5 | skibidi sammakko | -2.73 | 35 | 49 |





