








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 235 | 10% |
| Smokes | 925 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 712 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 551 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $287,349 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Acyth | 50% | 42 |
| #8 | Artisan Ferrailleur Autonome | 46% | 41 |
| #9 | Vodkalashnikov | 42% | 36 |
| #10 | sunwookie | 40% | 10 |
| #11 | RayanSaan | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MOUAMEME | 10 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | Matthoy | 9 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | PLZY | ZY | 9 | 0.0152 |
| #4 | Vodkalashnikov | 8 | 0.0114 |
| #5 | Acyth | 7 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Acyth | 90 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Kanye | 53 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | PLZY | ZY | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | MOUAMEME | 39 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | sunwookie | 21 | 0.10 | 0 min |





