








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 486 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5781 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2587 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3029 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3243 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2661 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,517,529 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2637 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unranked Fighter | 67% | 39 |
| #2 | aristotle joemama | 51% | 193 |
| #3 | earl | 50% | 74 |
| #4 | shr1mple 🚭 | 49% | 81 |
| #5 | Chinese People Destroyer | 48% | 288 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | earl | 50% | 74 |
| #4 | shr1mple 🚭 | 49% | 81 |
| #5 | Chinese People Destroyer | 48% | 288 |
| #6 | CDXM | 47% | 104 |
| #7 | IX | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chinese People Destroyer | 17 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | aristotle joemama | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | earl | 10 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | shr1mple 🚭 | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | CDXM | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CDXM | 470 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | aristotle joemama | 357 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | Chinese People Destroyer | 326 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #4 | shr1mple 🚭 | 141 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | earl | 84 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bolsa | +3.06 | 79 | 49 |
| #2 | aristotle joemama | -0.79 | 59 | 55 |
| #3 | IX | -0.99 | 67 | 44 |
| #4 | shr1mple 🚭 | -1.28 | 47 | 65 |
| #5 | CDXM | -1.64 | 56 | 48 |





