








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 673 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 317 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1605 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1559 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2119 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2834 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,793,433 of utility $237 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 378 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unranked Fighter | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | aristotle joemama | 51% | 156 |
| #3 | bolsa | 48% | 288 |
| #4 | shr1mple 🚭 | 48% | 81 |
| #5 | earl | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | shr1mple 🚭 | 48% | 81 |
| #5 | earl | 47% | 47 |
| #6 | fixing for a frag | 42% | 24 |
| #7 | CDXM | 41% | 59 |
| #8 | IX | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bolsa | 22 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | aristotle joemama | 14 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | earl | 8 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | shr1mple 🚭 | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | CDXM | 5 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bolsa | 422 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #2 | CDXM | 351 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #3 | aristotle joemama | 306 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | shr1mple 🚭 | 151 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | fixing for a frag | 82 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bolsa | +3.57 | 81 | 48 |
| #2 | shr1mple 🚭 | -0.32 | 54 | 66 |
| #3 | aristotle joemama | -0.33 | 59 | 54 |
| #4 | IX | -1.06 | 71 | 43 |
| #5 | earl | -1.33 | 78 | 48 |





