








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 735 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 66 matches | 1,926 | |
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1146 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,573 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2364 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2059 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1092 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1058 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $412,828 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 343 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheat | 71% | 34 |
| #2 | Yalla! Drickyoghurt | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | eliiiiin | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | Quasi | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | Haachen | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheat | +3.52 | 86 | 72 |
| #2 | pappaBiceps | +2.53 | 88 | 65 |
| #3 | Pablo | +2.51 | 85 | 79 |
| #4 | Pärkish | +2.47 | 86 | 87 |
| #5 | Quasi | +1.74 | 71 | 79 |





