








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 765 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 481 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5366 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2309 | 13% |
| Smokes | 4663 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6286 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 4089 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,210,684 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1923 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Analex | 51% | 295 |
| #2 | OSCAR! | 50% | 457 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Analex | 51% | 295 |
| #2 | OSCAR! | 50% | 457 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OSCAR! | 47 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Analex | 15 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OSCAR! | 1589 | 0.16 | 46 min |
| #2 | Analex | 464 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OSCAR! | +0.70 | 42 | 77 |
| #2 | Gospodin QrilleX | +0.47 | 44 | 65 |
| #3 | Analex | -2.72 | 35 | 67 |





