








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 820 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 177 | 22% |
| Smokes | 225 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 168 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 250 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $63,233 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AyyJyy | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Tremko | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Ace Ventura: Thot Detective | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Clown(Honka Honka) | 41% | 29 |
| #5 | Kateface | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tremko | 4 | 0.0588 |
| #2 | KlanCS | 1 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | mariooverilike | 1 | 0.0179 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ace Ventura: Thot Detective | +5.18 | 91 | 55 |
| #2 | KlanCS | +3.16 | 95 | 30 |
| #3 | AyyJyy | +2.58 | 74 | 72 |
| #4 | Tremko | +1.86 | 92 | 73 |
| #5 | mariooverilike | +0.23 | 95 | 56 |





