








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 919 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 832 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8572 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6558 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 12755 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 8069 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,447,862 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dörty Quiztov | 54% | 132 |
| #2 | Reschobiceps | 52% | 54 |
| #3 | ☻נєѕυѕ Ŀ♥νєs тнє αк47☻ | 49% | 356 |
| #4 | Veganarchist | 49% | 49 |
| #5 | Harry Hodensäckle | 45% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ☻נєѕυѕ Ŀ♥νєs тнє αк47☻ | 49% | 356 |
| #4 | Veganarchist | 49% | 49 |
| #5 | Harry Hodensäckle | 45% | 55 |
| #6 | TYBALT | 42% | 247 |
| #7 | t-trusher@mok|'04 | 42% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☻נєѕυѕ Ŀ♥νєs тнє αк47☻ | 41 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | TYBALT | 20 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Dörty Quiztov | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Harry Hodensäckle | 7 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Reschobiceps | 6 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TYBALT | 1333 | 0.25 | 36 min |
| #2 | ☻נєѕυѕ Ŀ♥νєs тнє αк47☻ | 675 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #3 | Harry Hodensäckle | 316 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #4 | Veganarchist | 172 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Dörty Quiztov | 153 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flEX | +1.16 | 46 | 75 |
| #2 | ☻נєѕυѕ Ŀ♥νєs тнє αк47☻ | +0.62 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | Harry Hodensäckle | +0.10 | 65 | 62 |
| #4 | Dörty Quiztov | -0.21 | 67 | 63 |
| #5 | t-trusher@mok|'04 | -1.12 | 62 | 33 |





