








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
574 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 367 | 26% |
| Smokes | 360 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 281 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 405 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $234,855 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cocka'Rot | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Virus_J | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Goosemode | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Miss Aluminum | 44% | 54 |
| #5 | macro | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Goosemode | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Miss Aluminum | 44% | 54 |
| #5 | macro | 43% | 28 |
| #6 | Xeo | 33% | 6 |
| #7 | Msete | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miss Aluminum | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | macro | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Goosemode | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Xeo | 1 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miss Aluminum | 204 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | macro | 93 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Goosemode | 79 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | Msete | 15 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #5 | Virus_J | 13 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cocka'Rot | +3.46 | 78 | 41 |
| #2 | TheDumbG00se | +1.42 | 72 | 52 |
| #3 | Xeo | +1.37 | 65 | 35 |
| #4 | Msete | +0.99 | 77 | 43 |
| #5 | macro | +0.54 | 88 | 60 |





