








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
348 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 115 | 13% |
| Smokes | 296 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 229 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 254 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $69,549 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dampjoes | 21 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #2 | Spiritmane 'phetard' Madscream | 13 | 0.37 | 0 min |
| #3 | neo fart | 8 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #4 | Dyson V8 Cord Free Vacuum | 7 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #5 | Fat Maggot | 6 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spiritmane 'phetard' Madscream | +9.84 | 85 | 82 |
| #2 | Ollie | +3.54 | 90 | 43 |
| #3 | OOR | +3.02 | 56 | 30 |
| #4 | Fat Maggot | +2.59 | 76 | 72 |
| #5 | Dyson V8 Cord Free Vacuum | +2.32 | 54 | 57 |





