








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 468 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2219 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 762 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1582 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1448 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1501 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $853,451 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torgor 平 | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | amateur | 51% | 147 |
| #3 | Dampjoes | 50% | 178 |
| #4 | Little Rocket Man | 46% | 56 |
| #5 | raztratt<3 | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Little Rocket Man | 46% | 56 |
| #5 | raztratt<3 | 43% | 37 |
| #6 | Lejonet | 42% | 12 |
| #7 | Von 💦 | 40% | 40 |
| #8 | swololololololololololo | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dampjoes | 17 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | amateur | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Lejonet | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dampjoes | 714 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | raztratt<3 | 214 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #3 | Von 💦 | 106 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | swololololololololololo | 77 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #5 | Torgor 平 | 67 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Von 💦 | +4.22 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | Ollie-- | +1.42 | 84 | 48 |
| #3 | Dampjoes | +1.18 | 77 | 72 |
| #4 | Torgor 平 | -0.33 | 66 | 66 |
| #5 | amateur | -0.58 | 71 | 31 |





