








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5228 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3102 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3612 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2113 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $445,366 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ballout | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | yzzok | 63% | 153 |
| #3 | ;~] | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | maraudon | 53% | 232 |
| #5 | SM1LADON | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | yzzok | 63% | 153 |
| #3 | ;~] | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | maraudon | 53% | 232 |
| #5 | SM1LADON | 52% | 21 |
| #6 | prime | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yzzok | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | maraudon | 5 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maraudon | 554 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | yzzok | 472 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | prime | 91 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | SM1LADON | 68 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | ballout | 49 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yzzok | +4.09 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | SM1LADON | +2.88 | 91 | 59 |
| #3 | vyczxdd | +2.82 | 78 | 57 |
| #4 | ballout | +1.78 | 84 | 55 |
| #5 | ;~] | -0.80 | 69 | 52 |





