








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 832 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 299 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,953 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4003 | 16% |
| Smokes | 8090 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5663 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7197 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,992,192 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2664 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mako | 55% | 87 |
| #2 | lock your doors. | 55% | 169 |
| #3 | Wenceslaus IV of Bohemia | 54% | 192 |
| #4 | Rykoa | 52% | 274 |
| #5 | Lavender | 47% | 263 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lavender | 46 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Wenceslaus IV of Bohemia | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | lock your doors. | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Rykoa | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | CosmicSaint | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wenceslaus IV of Bohemia | 335 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | Lavender | 292 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | lock your doors. | 289 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Rykoa | 189 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mako | 149 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lavender | +4.67 | 58 | 48 |
| #2 | CosmicSaint | +2.95 | 59 | 40 |
| #3 | lock your doors. | +2.18 | 47 | 49 |
| #4 | Mako | +1.75 | 66 | 54 |
| #5 | Wenceslaus IV of Bohemia | +0.24 | 40 | 36 |





