








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,597 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 368 | 14% |
| Smokes | 860 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 668 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 701 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $309,812 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a1pha | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | s4zz4 | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | [MOOGANG] dearlucid | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | -_-::MuST8HaCkz::-_- | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | riprip | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [MOOGANG] dearlucid | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | a1pha | 2 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | s4zz4 | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | -_-::MuST8HaCkz::-_- | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [MOOGANG] dearlucid | 150 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #2 | s4zz4 | 80 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | a1pha | 77 | 0.34 | 2 min |
| #4 | viridian | 51 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #5 | -_-::MuST8HaCkz::-_- | 47 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -_-::MuST8HaCkz::-_- | +3.72 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | [MOOGANG] dearlucid | +3.66 | 84 | 73 |
| #3 | viridian | +3.66 | 83 | 66 |
| #4 | a1pha | +1.73 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | s4zz4 | +1.46 | 72 | 70 |





