








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 540 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5590 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3539 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3459 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2704 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $413,398 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1524 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mexyou | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | gangstabot69420 | 69% | 39 |
| #3 | ^Herkkupala | 68% | 50 |
| #4 | AJJ | 66% | 35 |
| #5 | XPeecc 🌪 | 61% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Cock of the Walk | 59% | 32 |
| #8 | Darth Foreskin | 58% | 31 |
| #9 | sane | 56% | 41 |
| #10 | SNAASI | 53% | 47 |
| #11 | PUIPPI | 53% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XPeecc 🌪 | 12 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | gangstabot69420 | 8 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | Miku | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Cock of the Walk | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | sane | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^Herkkupala | 185 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | SNAASI | 167 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | sane | 149 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | XPeecc 🌪 | 142 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Miku | 110 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mexyou | +4.27 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | gangstabot69420 | +3.78 | 87 | 49 |
| #3 | Miku | +2.36 | 83 | 54 |
| #4 | XPeecc 🌪 | +1.66 | 82 | 52 |
| #5 | fREJZER11 | +1.59 | 61 | 65 |





